


What if?

by Earthsbestdefender



Series: The New Way [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Civil War (Marvel), He and Tony didn't get along, He was just an ass, Hurt/Comfort, No Character Death, Non abusive Howard, What if something else happened, and a cold calculating dude, and they hated each other, but howard never hit him, comic book howard is a whole other can of beans, fixing civil war, this is movie howard, this movies not comics, we aren't going there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 10:27:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17547959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earthsbestdefender/pseuds/Earthsbestdefender
Summary: What if Bucky's escape from Berlin went differently? What is Natasha is the only one to show up at the airport?





	What if?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bored and I am just going to do this story all in one go. I also decided to fix a little something. Plus this is a story that I have wanted for a long time, but couldn't find.  
> *in Thanos voice*: Fine I'll do it myself.

 

Part One: A Dark Path

* * *

 

Steve took a deep breath and took off at a run toward the helicopter that Clint had lined up for them, Bucky was close on his heels. As they neared the helicopter Natasha stepped into view. Steve slowed to a stop a few feet away from her. He tossed a glance at the sky for a sign of Stark, but didn't see the red and gold armor anywhere in sight. He was slightly confused. Tony believed in these acords with all his heart, and Steve had thought that he would be willing to fight for them. Evidently not. Evidently he didn't believe in them enough to actually fight his friends over it. There was no sign of anyone else either. Was Natasha the only one who was willing to fight? Or was this a trap? Steve suddenly became very weary of the situation.

"What Stark didn't have it in him to actually come and face us himself?" Steve said cautiously, but still let the anger in his voice. He had given the man too much credit. Natasha flinched at Steve's words, and looked genuinely shocked.

"How could you say that?!" Her voice cracked as she spoke. Something wasn't right. She was visibly shaken, and Nat didn't get shaken easily.

"I just figured he would actually show up to back these accords he's fighting for," Steve stated. Natasha's eyes widened as if something horrible had dawned on her.

"You don't know?" Her tone was shocked and accusing, "You didn't hear?"

"Know what? Hear what?" Steve demanded. Natasha squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath.

"Stark- Tony's-" Her voice was choked as though she was fighting back tears. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

"Nat, what happened?" Steve demanded, panic rising in his throat.

"He's been in surgery since- since yesterday..."

The words fell on Steve like a ton of bricks. What the hell had happened? He had been talking to him in Berlin yesterday. He had been fine... Then it hit him.

"Oh ga- Steve I'm so sorry..." Steve whorled around at the sound of Bucky's voice.

"Buck?" He knew what had happened even before his friend confirmed it.

"I- he- I didn't mean to... I couldn't and then. Steve I'm sorry," Bucky's voice was a low and heart broken moan. His friend took a frightened step back, and looked like he was about to run.

"Bucky stop! It wasn't your fault," Steve grabbed Bucky's arm and pulled him close. The man seemed to shrink and wither. Steve turned his attention back to Natasha, still hugging Bucky close, "How bad?"

Steve already knew it was bad. Stark wouldn't still be in surgery if it wasn't bad.

"Point blank shot to the chest..." Bucky flinched at her words, "Steve they don't think he's going to pull through..."

Steve swallowed hard.

"I didn't come here to bring you in," Natasha continued, "I came here to tell you what happened, and offer you a deal if you want to come back."

Steve knew they needed to go back. One of their own- a member of their family- was on death's door step. Steve couldn't, with a clear conscience, leave. Tony needed his family. They may disagree on the accords but family was family.

"What's the deal" Steve asked. 

"They transported Tony to the compound last night. I have the Quinjet here. I will transport all of you back to the compound, and not tell Ross, but Bucky has to stay in a holding cell. No one will know he's there but-"

"I am not putting him in a cell!" Steve protested.

"Steve whether you care to admit it or not he is dangerous!" Natasha's voice quivered as she spoke, "Steve, he shot Tony."

"It wasn't Bucky-"

"Yes. We'll take the deal," Bucky interrupted Steve, lifting his head and facing Natasha.

"Buck-"

"Steve. She's right. I am dangerous, and you have to go back. Your friend might die. You need to be there," Bucky said firmly.

"We'll make sure he is comfortable, and taken care of. Steve, please. You have to come back."

Steve looked from Natasha to Bucky, who nodded firmly, and back to Natasha.

"Alright. We'll come."

* * *

The previous day...

Natasha sat up with a groan clutching her throat where it had nearly gotten the life squeezed out of it. She was almost positive it was going to bruise. A low pained moan grabbed her attention away from the pain in her neck. She pulled herself to her feet. She had to make sure Tony was okay. She had seen him get thrown over one of the tables. She made her way through the maze of broken tables.

"Son of a bitch! Tony!" Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes settled on him. He lay on his back staring blankly into the sky, in a steadily growing puddle of red. She crumpled to her knees next to him, "Stark?!"

The man didn't respond. Natasha tore open his vest; blood was pooling on his chest and slowly bubbling out of a bullet wound. The red had almost completely covered his once white shirt.

"Damn it! Tony stay with me!" She cried pushing one hand against his bleeding chest, and the other against his bloody neck attempting to get a pulse. At first she couldn't find it because it was so weak and slow, "I got you Tony, I got you. Stay with me man. Please stay with me."

Nat lifted his head and blood slipped out of his mouth.

"HEY! I NEED MEDICAL OVER HERE!!!" Natasha screamed to whoever might be nearby. It took less than a minute for a medical team to reach her. One of the workers pulled her away from Stark's limp body while the other two gently lifted him onto a stretcher. She stared blankly in shock at the pool of blood that was left on the ground where he had been lying. It was to much... way way to much blood. The wound had been far too close to the heart. Nat let out a reched sob and buried her face in her bloody hands. She didn't even really notice that they had taken Tony away. Something in the back of her mind was screaming at her to get up and follow, but her body was to numb from the shock. She couldn't make herself move. She could only stare blankly at the pool of blood before her, and weep.

"Nat!" Rhodey's shout brought her out of her shock, "Nat? what happened?"

The air force colonel knelt next to her.

"Tony..." His name was the only thing she could force out before another sob tore through her.

"Is he-" Rhodes didn't finish his question before Nat buried her face in his shoulder. He let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around her.

* * *

Pepper's phone rang right as she bit into her lunch. She was tempted not to answer. It was her lunch; whatever it was could wait. She listened to ring a few more times and  finally rolled her eyes and hit the speakerphone button.

"Margaret I thought I told you to hold all my calls until after my lunch," Pepper said plaintively to her assistant.  

"Sorry Ms. Potts, but it's a priority call from a colonel James Rhodes in Berlin," Her assistant replied. Pepper sighed.

"Alright put him through."

"Yes mam."

"I swear if Tony put you up to this call I will personally-"

"Pepper stop," Rhodey's voice was shrill and almost angry. Something was wrong. His tone sent her flying back to when he had called her to tell her Tony was missing in Afghanistan. It was all wrong. Something was horribly wrong.

"Rhodey what is it?" Pepper demanded, fear spiking in the back of her mind.

"Tony's... he's been-" The man trailed off.

"Rhodey! What happened?!" Pepper almost shouted springing to her feet. 

"Pepper he's been shot..."

Pepper staggered back in shock, and lowered herself back into her chair. No. No. No. How the hell had he been shot? He should have had his suit. Him getting shot wasn't even something that could happen. He knew better than to go into combat without a suit.

"How- How bad?" She managed to wheeze.

"It's bad Pepper. We flying him to the compound for better medical."

"Is- is he going to be okay?" Pepper stammered.

"I don't know- they don't know. You should meet us at the compound."

 

Pepper flipped slowly through Tony's medical file as she sat in a chair in the waiting area of the compound's med bay. She didn't know why she was still flipping through the file, each page turn made everything worse. The bullet had clipped an artery, and then richoched. The evil piece of led had fragmented, and the majority of it had ended its journey in Tony's left lung after narrowly missing his heart.

"Hey, Pepper stop looking at that," Rhodey said and gently tugged the file away from her, "That will only make you feel worse."

Pepper didn't argue. She only buried her head in shoulder and cried.

* * *

Present time...

Steve stepped off the jet onto the familiare landing pad of the compound. Vision was waiting there to escort Bucky to his cell. Steve and the rest of the team followed Natasha to the waiting area of the med bay. Pepper and Rhodey were already there. Pepper didn't look up as they entered the room. Everyone took seats around the room except for Steve. He paced.

The double doors to the room slid open and a very tired looking doctor slipped into the room. Steve stopped pacing, and everyone looked up. Pepper rose to her feet. It seemed as though the whole room was holding its breath.

"One or two of you can go see him. We have him stabilized, and we are taking a small break before we continue with the surgery."

Steve flinched. Had it really taken that long for them to get him stabilized? 

Pepper followed the doctor out of the room. It made the most sense for her to be the one to go.

* * *

Pepper followed the doctor to the room where Tony was awaiting his second round of surgery.

"Hey Tones," She gently slid her hand into his. He was horribly pale. He looked almost like a ghost. Barely there, as though the slightest breeze might blow him away forever.

"Hey Pepp," Pepper jumped. She hadn't been expecting him to be awake enough to respond to her, "ssthat you? didu come back?"

"Yes Tony, I came back," She pressed his hand to her lips, "I'm right here."

A weak smile flitted across his face, and his hand squeezed ever so slightly around her's.

"Thanks..." He whimpered.

"You're going to be fine Tony," Pepper ran her fingers through his tangled hair, "You're going to be fine."

He coughed and a shiver ran through his body. Before Pepper even knew what was happening he was convulsing.

"Tony!" She cried, panic gripping her heart, "Tony!"

He uttered a choked gagging sound and red mist spluttered out of his mouth. Blood dribbled down as his chin as he struggled for breath.

"I lo- love you-" His words were strained as he choked on more blood.

"Miss you need to step back," A hand pulled Pepper away from Tony's side as a group of medical personnel flooded around him.

"No! Tony! You'll be fine! Tony please!" Pepper screamed as the medic pulled her farther away from Tony's twitching body, "TONY! PLEASE NO!"

Doors closed in front of her blocking her view from the man she loved. The nurse let go of her and she dashed back toward the door in a second, but strong arms grabbed around her, and stopped her.

"Pepper, Pepper, Stop," It was Rhodey's voice.

"No! He's dying! James he's dying! I can't leave him!!!" Pepper screamed louder than she had ever screamed before, "HE CAN'T DIE!!! James he can't!"

She crumpled to the floor, and Rhodey followed her still hugging her tight. 

"He can't!" Pepper cried and grabbed hand fulls of Rhodey's shirt, "Tony can't die!"

* * *

Rhodey hugged his arms tightly around Pepper and held her close to him as she sobbed into shoulder. He rocked her in his arms as her screams slowly died into broken sobs. The only small comfort that Rhodey found was that no doctor had come through the doors to confirm Pepper's screams. Tony wasn't dead. He wouldn't die... He couldn't. The woman's sobs slowly quieted and her heavy breathing slowed.

"Pepper?" Rhodey whispered to her, but she didn't respond. Rhodey smiled sadly and lifted the woman into his arms. She had cried herself to sleep. He carried her over to the couch and placed down on the soft cushions.

"She okay?" Rogers asked giving Pepper a concerned glance.

"Yes, she just hasn't slept since all this began," Rhodey explained calmly, and lowered himself into a chair. He wanted to sleep too, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He wasn't going to sleep until he knew Tony was going to be okay.

"Do you think I could talk to you in private for a minute?" Steve asked hesitantly after a few minutes. Rhodey nodded and followed Steve out into the hallway. The captain looked very uncomfortable.

"What is it Rogers?"

"After Bucky snapped out his Winter Soldier mindset- after he woke up... after Berlin-" Steve seemed to be struggling with whatever it was he was trying to get out.

"After he shot Tony?" Rhodey said raising his eyebrow angrily.

"It wasn't him. It wasn't Bucky. It was the weapon Hydra programed him to be. It gets triggered by some words-"

Rhodey held up his hand stopped Steve, "Alright, alright. Continue with what you were saying."

"After Berlin, when he was himself again he told me things."

"What kind of things?"

"Things that Hydra forced him to do as the Winter Soldier."

Rhodey crossed his arms over his chest, "I have a feeling there are a lot of unpleasant stories. I am also getting the feeling that there is a specific one you want to talk about."

Steve nodded, "There is, and it pertains to Tony."

Rhodey sighed, "How so?"

"His- his parents specifically."

Rhodey stiffened. His parent's death had almost killed him, Rhodey feared what new light on it might do to him.

"What about his parents?" Rhodey ventured.

"Their death wasn't accidental. It wasn't just a freak car crash."

"It was a hit?" Rhodey almost felt relieved. For the past 25 years he, and Tony had believed -and been told- that the accident had been due to drunk driving on Howard's part. Tony had blamed himself. He had insisted a thousand times over that it was his fault because he should have stopped his dad from driving drunk. He had even ventured as far as to say that he should have driven them to the airport. For the longest Rhodey had wished Tony had driven them, because it would have saved him so much pain, but now? The harsh reality hit Rhodey. If Tony had driven them to the airport, he would have died to. 

"It was a hit," Steve confirmed sullenly.

"By Barnes?"

"The Winter Soldier," Steve corrected defensively. Rhodey exhaled with sudden exhaustion.

"We aren't keeping this a secret," Rhodey said pinning Steve down with a stern look.

"I know! I just... I don't know how to tell him. I thought maybe you could help."

Steve brought up a valid point. Telling Tony wasn't going to be easy. It wasn't going to be easy to say, and it wouldn't be easy watching him take it.

"I'll find a way to tell him, but first he has to wake up."

* * *

 

Part Two: A New Light

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Tony open your eyes."_

_Tony opened his eyes and found himself staring into a white oblivion. He blinked a few times confused where the voice had come from. His vision cleared and he found himself lying on in his back on a very familiar bed, in a very familiar house. He sat up slowly and looked around the room. It was exactly how he remembered it. Blueprints for Dum-E hanging on the wall, next to his other robot designs. His display of Captain America action figures still standing in a proud row in front of his comic books. The only thing that was different was that the room was bathed in a fresh beautiful white light. Everything seemed much lighter._

_Tony carefully slipped out of bed. His bare feet sank into the soft carpet. He made his way across the dream like room and opened the door. The all to familiar hallway was bathed in the same white morning light. He stepped out into the hallway, cool, smooth hardwood floors meeting his feet. He made his way down the smooth slightly slick stairs. He was tempted to question why he was home again, but its dream like beauty had him at a loss for both words and skepticism._

_"There he is!" A crystal clear voice welcomed him as he made his descent down the stairs that spiraled into the open part of the house, "My beautiful boy, all grown up!"_

_Tony's mother met him at the bottom of the stairs. He knew that he should be surprised to see her, but he wasn't._

_"Mom?" Tony tilted his head questioningly at her._

_"Yes darling," She smiled at him and cupped his cheeks in her hands. She ran her fingers along his beard with a the tenderness only a mother could possess._

_"How?" Tony finally found it in himself to question what was happening, "Am I- did I-?"_

_His mother laughed, her laugh was twinged with sadness, "No Tony. You aren't dead."_

_He searched deep in his mother's gaze._ Than why was he here?

_"You are here because you need to be," His mother answered his question before he could speak it aloud._

_"Is this real?" Tony forced the question out. He wanted it to be real with all of his might._

_"I'm not sure dear," His mother said quietly her hand still rested on his cheek, "Here come to the living room."_

_Tony followed his mother to the peaceful room with white walls and drapes that danced with white lace flowers. On the wall hung photos. Tony looked closely at them. He recognized them. Each one held memories. Sandcastles on the beach. Building model cars. Walks in the park. Hours of boating on the lake. Picnicing in the fields of flowers. Board games on the floor. Tony smiled. He had almost forgot about the happy part of his childhood._

_A set of pictures caught his eye. He walked across the room to them. They didn't belong in this house. They hadn't happened while he lived here. The memories came to him all the same. A beautiful strawberry blond woman who he loved very much. A room full of laughing friends, each with there own set of gifts. A building built overlooking fields of green one way, and an ocean... the Atlantic. Routine exercises. Fun sparring matches. Late nights of playing games and laughing._

_Tony glanced at his mother who was staring at him from her place on the couch. She nodded back in the direction of the wall. Tony's eyes traveled back, and there were pictures of things he did not recall. A woman, strawberry blond hair draped loosely over her shoulders standing in a white dress. A boy with loose brown curls smiling, and leaning against a red and gold suit of armor. A child, a little girl with blue eyes, auburn hair and freckles sat perched on his shoulders laughing and pulling his hair._

_Tony let a small amused sound. Something warm and wet slipped down his cheek as he turned back to his mother. She rose from her place on the couch and stopped in front of him._

_"What is this?" Tony asked softly._

_"A future my son," His mother's whisper sent warmth flooding through his body. She used her finger to wipe away the tears flooding his eyes, "I think it's time you go back."_

_"But I want to stay here," Tony pleaded, and even as he spoke he knew it was a lie._

_"No you don't. You need to go back," His mother spoke with gentle reassurance, "Tony, remember I love you."_

_Her soft lips pressed against his cheek and the world faded away into light again, and slowly eased back into darkness._

* * *

 

_Tony opened his eyes on his own this time, and was met with darkness. He almost panicked until things began to take shape. He was back in his room, but it was dark and shadowy. He sat up, and let out a pained groan as pain burned through his whole body. He looked around his dark room. His Captain America action figures had been toppled over and thrown to the ground, along with many of his comics. The blueprints for his robots lay torn and crumpled on the ground. Tony slipped his legs out of bed wincing as the movement sent more pain rippling through his body._

_His bare feet hit the carpet and something crunched and poked into his foot. Tony swore and hoped away from it. He glanced back to see a broken action figure on the ground. Tony just shook his head and limped across his dark room. He made his way stumbling to the hallway. No light shone in it, and he squint to see his way to the stairs. He made his way carefully down the stairs. Pain jerked at his chest and insides._

_"Hello Tony."_

_Tony stopped half way down the stairs. He already wanted to go back to the other version of his home._

_"where's mom?" Tony skipped right over the pleasantries of greeting his father._

_"She thought you and I should talk alone," Howard's voice echoed up to him as the man stepped out of the shadows. Tony glared down at him._

_"Well I don't want to talk to you," Tony snapped. He wanted to go back to his mother, and the house bathed in light and joy._

_"I know."_

_His father's words hit Tony like a punch in the gut. Tony involuntarily coughed. A coppery tang filled his mouth, and something hot and sticky dripped down his chest under his shirt._

_Howard looked him up and down and an expression that Tony had never seen on him before flitted across his face. Concern._

_"What do you want Howard?" Tony demanded letting himself sink to a sitting position on the stairs. Blood was beginning to bleed through his shirt._

_"To talk to you."_

_"I already said-"_

_"I don't care," His father snapped, "You need to listen to me."_

_Tony buried his hands in his shaking hands. He didn't want to do this. He wanted to be back with his mother._

_"I need you to see something," His father pressed, "Please."_

_Tony lifted his head, his father pinned him down with deep pleading eyes._

_"Fine," Tony agreed._

_"This way," Howard led him to the living room. Rain pounded against the windows, and cold light sifted into the dark room. Just like his mother had done Howard went and sat on the couch, as Tony's eyes went to the pictures on the wall._

_Memories flooded his mind with each glance. His father belittling his attempts to impress him. Him ripping up his blueprints. Throwing his action figures and comics all over the place. Locking himself away. Longing for his father's approval. A newspaper article. An obituary._

_Tony turned a burning glare to his father, "Why are these here? Where are the other pictures?"_

_Howard just shook his head and nodded at the wall. Tony turned his gaze back to the wall fearing what he might see._

_Him drunk. Designing weapons of death. A death toll... his death toll. Nights alone. A vision of death. His friends' faces contorted in anger at him. An angry strawberry blond woman. Alone. He was all alone._

_"What is this?" Tony demanded. What had happened to all his happy memories. Dread ate at him as he turned back around. His future. What was his future now?_

_He was alone. The next picture he was drinking from the bottle. After that he was sitting on the floor of his workshop. The bottle was empty. Cold hands gripped Tony's heart as his eyes settled on the last picture. A dark casket with only a few people gathered around it._

_Tony spun around to face his father. He could feel hot angry tears burning his cheeks._

_"What is this?!" He shouted, and his father rose from the couch._

_"You have to let go son."_

_"Let go of what?!" Tony screamed at his father._

_"You hold onto to much... to much darkness. You have to let go of it."_

_"What do you mean?!" Tony cried and flinched away as his father stepped toward him._

_"You have to forgive yourself."_

_"I can't! I can't! Look at what I've done!" Tony shouted frantically and pointed at the picture with his death toll, "I can't!"_

_"If you don't you will end up like me. Bitter."_

_Tony flinched at the frankness in his dad's tone._

_"But-"_

_"Tony, the world is not your burden to bare."_

_"But I have to fix it."_

_"No Tony. That's not your job. Your job is to help it, help it grow toward a brighter future. Not try to single handedly carry it there."_

_"But-"_

_"No son. No buts. You need to stop trying to carry all of the blame for everything has gone wrong on your shoulders. You need to forgive yourself, learn, and move forward."_

_"But how can I forget?"_

_"No. Tony. Don't forget. Never forget."_

_"Than how do I forgive myself?" Tony let out a sob of frustration._

_"That is for you to learn son," Tony's dad spo_ _ke with firm gentleness, and pulled him into a hug. Tony didn't fight it, "Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong."_

_Tony couldn't bring himself to respond._

_"I love you son," His father whispered. Tony found himself hugging the man back, "I am proud of you."_

_A small light drifted through the window and the pictures on the wall began to change. Tony didn't see what they changed to before the white light filled the room and everything began to fade away into the light._

_"I love you dad."_

* * *

 

Part Three: A Brighter Future

* * *

Steve walked past Tony's hospital room, and saw him and Rhodey deep in conversation... the conversation. Tony looked almost relieved by the conversation going down. Steve could see the 25 years of guilt and blame lifting off Tony's shoulders. He could also see tears in his eyes. Steve smiled sadly and kept on walking. He would go see Tony soon, but for now he and the team needed to take a flight to Siberia. 

Steve stared out the window as they took off in the Quinjet. He loved the compound. It was his home, and the Avengers were his family, Tony included. He didn't want to leave his home, and he didn't want to tear his family apart. Bucky was safe, and in good hands. Steve glanced around at the team gathered in jet. When they got back from Siberia maybe they should work to amend and shape the Accords to what they should be. Steve turned his head back out the window just as the compound disappeared behind the hill. Compromises were good.

* * *

One month later...

"Welcome, Mr. Stark," Tony was met at the landing pad by the king of Wakanda.

"Thank you," Tony shook the man's hand.

"If you have time when you are done with your meeting with Sergeant Barnes, my sister Shuri would love for you to come by her lab. She is a very big fan of yours," T'Challa said. Tony really wanted to see the Wakandan lab, but he wasn't sure if he had the strength and energy for that. He wasn't anywhere close to a full recovery and still found it quite difficult to get around. Pepper had tried to talk him out of traveling, but he had wanted to talk to Barnes as soon as possible, and the man wasn't welcome in the United States.

"First let's get this meeting out of the way," Tony said inhaling deeply and following T'Challa into the palace. There were some things from a certain dream, that he wasn't even sure  _was_ a dream, that he had to tell Barnes. 

Tony forgave the man, it hadn't been his fault. 

Barnes looked up with a sad expression as Tony entered the room. He was exactly sure how to start this conversation. He did know he wanted to help this man. He knew he couldn't carry him to the brighter future he deserved, but he could sure as hell help him there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This may or may not be the quote unquote intro to another series. Idk I haven't decided. It kind of depends on whether I can think of a good plot, and on how long it takes me to finish some other stories I have going.  
> I honestly just wrote this for my own benefit if you people like it that's just a plus. Either way leave kudos, or don't.  
> (comments are nice tho)


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